The Melbourne Chapters: The Plot

Where do I even begin right now.

I feel like I’m breaking up with the world best boyfriend. I feel like I just shot Bambi’s mother. I feel in Sophie’s words like I’m in ‘hell.’

This last year in Melbourne has without a doubt been the best year of my life. Fact.

Back last year I had decided that I was going to leave at the end of May. At the time there were a few reasons which would keep me here till then so it felt a good time to leave. None of these actually ended up happening so in fact I was free to leave at any time, but in my head I was leaving then so I didn’t even rethink it.

When you’re travelling you move around a lot and although your (mostly) having an amazing time you never really feel any attachment to anywhere you go because it’s not home, it’s just some amazing thing you’ve done which will become an awesome memory in a whole heap of memories you have stored away that you can recount to your friends later.

This is not an awesome snippet of life I’ve enjoyed and stored the memories of to recall. This is a whole year of my life. A WHOLE YEAR OF AWESOMENESS.  Now how do I even begin to tell you about that?!

This has not been a fling, this has been the best relationship of my life and I could get married but instead we’re breaking up.

So as heart-wrenchingly awful I feel right now about leaving the city equivalent of the love of my life, I’m trying to look to the future and at least distract myself from this break-up.

To me goodbyes are probably one of the worst things in the world. Saying it never feels real. Even though I’m saying goodbye probably forever, it sounds and feels like a casual, ‘See ya later’ when it’s really a ‘See ya…. never again!’

Yesterday I had to say goodbye to really close friend of mine, which if it wasn’t for him, so much of the best moments would have never of happened and then today I’ve had to say goodbye to three people that mean the world to me. Oh hell. One last major goodbye tomorrow, how I feel right now this one might just actually kill me.

I felt this way leaving a place only once before in my life, on the bus driving to the airport in Prague back in 2010.  I didn’t want to go home so badly that I was probably actually depressed. All I wanted to do was jump off the moving bus and run back. That does not even compare to how I feel at the moment.

I don’t even particularly want to leave, I’m doing it because I think I should. I’m trying to think with my head and not my heart. Hopefully one day I’ll look back and thank myself for that.

There’s just one last thing I need to say, Melbourne I love you with all my heart. There I said it.