Monday 13 May 2013

Not so much writers block...

I think the fact that I haven't written anything in so long is a testimate to how much I value writing.

I don't want to write for the sake of writing, I want to write and for it to mean something to me. If anyone else reads it and appreciates what I've done then that great but I write mainly for myself first and foremost.
How this blog usually works, at least for me, is that I go to a place I live there or just visit and I form my opinions good or bad and I write how a place makes me feel, firstly because I love travelling and secondly because I love writing.

But as you know I haven't really done either for the last year (although of course I recently spent two weeks back in Indonesia that I'm yet to say anything about.)

Melbourne for me, hasn't just been somewhere I've stopped off looked around a bit and formed an opinion about. Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I came here and I was blown away by this place. I remember writing gushing first impression posts about this place, and have written very little since... Well thats what you think. Perhaps a month ago even two I started to write a series of blog posts, that I will publish in time about what this place means to me. I couldnt write in one post everything that I needed to say. With anything that you've fallen in love with there are so many different reasons and elements that make you feel the way you do and it wouldn't do any justice not to share the three things that made me not only want to visit here, but make me not want to leave.

I have travelled so much. I've visited 32 different countries, and yet it is here that i've spent 11 months of my life. It won't do it justice if I didnt finally write about the all the reasons why I stayed here so long.

These blogs with come in time. One I've fininished and one is almost done and the third, and possibly the most personal is one that has only just been begun and won't be really finished until I have left and can look back on my time here.

When I left the UK which now feels like an eternity ago, I never imagined in a million years that would not be getting on the return flight in November 2011 from Bangkok to Heathrow. I didn't imagine not spending christmas back in my hometown with my family and my best friends. I had no idea of the decisions I would make that would completely change my life. As much as I love and miss my family and friends so so much, the decision to not go home was the best decision I could have made for myself. My head was a mess when I left the UK. I wasn't unhappy but I felt so goddamn lost I didn't even know where to begin. Seeing my friends with such clear ideas made me put pressure on myself to work out what I was doing but I just didnt have a clue. I just felt life was passing me by and I was none the wiser even where to start.

So bare with me. Thats's all I'm asking, The mess of a head of mine, is beginning to make sense. Doing something I love so much, travelling, has really given the prespective I wanted to find back home and things are slowly making sense.

Its not that I haven't wanted to write but I just wanted to find the right words to say about a place that means so very much to me.